The Whitsunday’s and beyond.

The drive to Airlie Beach and the Whitsunday Islands was long and we passed numerous kangaroos dead on the side of the roadway hit the previous night as they sought the sweet grass by the side of the roads. It is sad but in a country this big, fencing the side of the roads would just be impracticable. Remember if you are thinking of coming to Australia and driving from city to city distances are huge! Even our GPS we named Doris seemed to have a sense of humor as she stated in her posh English voice. “Drive straight for 378 kilometers then make a right turn.”

On the way to Airlie beach we drove through Rockhampton and headed for Yeppoon. Due to lack of available accommodation we stayed for one night in an overpriced apartment tower called Bay-view Towers. We renamed them Faulty Towers. At $160 a night you would expect good facilities. Things like plates, knives and spoons; if you wanted these you were charged an additional $5. There were no cooking facilities except a microwave. The ranch slider to the balcony refused to open and there were so few plug outlets they had extension cords running around the room.

Determined to get some value for money we went looking for the spa and swimming pool complex advertised in the in-room information brochure. Mysteriously they had vanished. Maybe it was another add on? How a large apartment complex can advertise a facility that doesn’t exist leaves me speechless.

I passed a radio billboard on the way out of town advertising ‘NAG’ Radio not a very compelling call sign I thought.

While Hervey Bay seemed to be semi tropical, Airlie Beach seemed like a resort you would find in places like Fiji, complete with coconut trees. Tourism must be booming this far up the coast everything is bigger and brighter here. We found a nice motel apartment just a few hundred yards from the beach.

Up north they get those stinging jellyfish here from October to May so at Airlie beach they have a man made lagoon for swimming all year round. What a great idea!

On our last day at Airlie Beach we went on an island tour known as ‘the three island’ tour on a big wave piercing catamaran. Seeing skyscrapers on Hamilton Island kind of spoiled the view from the sea while the rest of the villas genuinely tried to blend in with the tropical forests. We never stopped at Hamilton Island which is a resort island for the rich and famous as well as the moderately well heeled.

The boat did stop and anchor on what surely must be one of the most pristine and unspoiled beaches on the planet. Whitehaven beach is miles of pure white silica sand and clear turquoise blue water. This beach has not been developed and is all the better for it. The water was a little cool but compared to New Zealand waters at this time of year it was. The longer you stayed in, the warmer it felt. There was a large sea turtle swimming about but he was just a little too far offshore for me as I didn’t have any swim fins.

After a dive on the reef at Hook Island and being surrounded by hundreds of reef fish we ended up with an hour and a half on Day Dream Island which is a resort destination. Another swim and a hot spa rounded off the day in facilities which were first class.

The next morning we left for Mission Beach with a stopover in Townsville to stretch or legs. It was a long drive but an easy drive on a good road clearly signed with plenty of places for a rest or refreshment break.

Mission Beach had taken a hammering in a cyclone earlier this year and reminded us that in the summer tropical storms can spring up at any time. Still it is a beautiful spot and is quickly recovering from the damage.

The next morning it was an easy drive to Cairns, mission accomplished!

Whales and Dingoes

I was keen to see if the hype about observing a humpback whale close up was worth it. Well it was! Seeing these magnificent creatures in the wild and being almost close enough to touch them is, infinitely better than seeing them on television. The first thing that strikes you is their size. They are huge, yet they have a serene majesty that makes them a true wonder of the animal kingdom. They pop their heads out of the water and simply observe you in the same way us curious humans observe them.

At no time are they frightening, or in any way threatening. The whales in Hervey bay are on holiday pausing before their long swim back to the Antarctic. I watched as a young calf breached the surface as it swum beside it mother. The mother feeds its calf by expressing milk straight into the water and its calf strains out the milk the same way as the older whales feed on the plankton and krill. Seems wasteful but a calf can put on over 80 kilos a day!

Whale watching is a relatively new phenomenon but I can understand why it has become so popular. These are not trained animals, or circus acts this is just how they are. The boat captain cuts the motors and you slip quietly beside them. The whales will either totally ignore you or they will decide to interact with you. Either way seems fine somehow.

New Zealand and Australia banned whaling in the early sixties. What took them so long! But that being said the whales in our waters are making a comeback. Numbers have gone from the hundreds to the thousands and long may their revival continue. So if you think whale watching might be an experience worth having, go for it!  In my humble opinion you will not be disappointed.

The next day it was time for some off-roading aussie style. Fraser Island is the world’s biggest sand dune island, 123 kilometers long and over 22 kilometers wide at its widest point. Covered in bush and tropical rain forest it was once a major logging site. Now it is a world heritage park and the bush has reverted back to its original state.

This trip is a true off road adventure. Nothing but a four wheel drive will cope with the rugged terrain and the deep rutted sandy tracks. You have seat belts in the bus and you need them on. Many times the driver shifted into the low box and with the engine screaming we crawled our way upward, branches and ferns scrapping the windows on both sides.

I swam in Lake McKenzie high in the sand dunes that is feed purely by rainwater. The water is crystal clear and covers about 130 hectares. It is surrounded by fine white silica sand. It was a highlight of the trip and if you go there take a swim; the water will get your heart pumping!

Back in the 4x4 bus and we ground our way back down the lower slopes to the rain forest.  What is truly remarkable is that the trees and the vegetation look so healthy and yet the whole island consists of just white sand.

After a bush walk we were herded back into the bus and we headed for lunch at a local resort. A quick lunch and we were off again down the beach. A wild dingo was digging up the remains of a fisherman’s catch and took no notice of the bus. Then it was off down the beach at what seemed to be about a 100 km an hour to an old shipwreck that washed ashore in 1937. You can’t swim at the beach because of the tiger sharks which patrol just out from the surf line. It seems a shame as the shoreline is nothing but miles of white sand and the water is crystal clear.

Six of us volunteered to go for a quick flight over the island on a 7 seat single engine aircraft that operated off the beach. We were told it was a 15 minute scenic flight over the coast to observe the whales and then a flight over the island.

The seven seat  was more of a five seat with two extra seats thrown in where the passengers legs should have been. I couldn't get the seat belt on and had to swap seats which involved some laughter due to the lack of room to maneuver. After breaking my sunglasses I managed to get the seat belt on but my legs needed to be in the isle for this to happen.

After the pilot was convinced none of the 4x4’s on the beach were headed our way, he gunned the engine and we were airborne in seconds and banking towards the ocean.

“Look two whales!” His voice crackled over the intercom and he did a hard left turn so we could all get a view of a mother and calf and our recently consumed lunch which was trying to come up from our stomachs.

“Look dolphin’s, a whole pod!”

Another quick bank and a shallow dive and we had two seconds to take pictures.

“Now for the island tour!” and we banked steeply then climbed through some turbulence for another turning and diving tour of the lakes, sand dunes and forest. Another quick turn and we dived down landing on the beach a few seconds later.

That was quickest 15 minutes of my life!

Later that afternoon we slogged back through the sand tracks to the ferry. If you have a bad back I suggest you miss this tour but if you like some adventure in your day then the tour will reinvigorate your adrenaline glands.

Well that’s all for now, next stop Airlie beach and the Whitsunday Islands.

Cairns or bust.

Every journey needs planning and our holiday is no exception. when it comes to logistics I am afraid I am rather hopeless. I have a weakness in my left leg because of an old motor accident and I decided to buy one of those walking sticks that mountaineers use. They aren't cheap but as we planned to do lots of walking, it would come in very handy. It turns out, the walking stick wasn't that essential because I forgot to pack it and we flew out without it. Thank goodness my wife did most of the packing as the only thing I had to pack, I forgot. Apart from me dropping my mobile phone and having it splatter on the tiles at the airport restaurant and temporarily misplace my wallet at customs, the flight went smoothly. Seeing the sun come up at 36,000 feet was a glorious sight. The breakfast on the flight was very tasty but designed to appease the belly of a very small marsupial. Is it is me or are aircraft seats shrinking? I am 6ft 2in and 110 kg so my backside felt like it was sliding into a pair of shoes one size to small and the leg room wasn't all that flash either. Size and height discrimination by the airlines maybe?

After four days on the Gold Coast where we enjoyed some family time and a fun visit to Sea World, we left on our road trip to Cairns - a sign just out of Brisbane said "Cairns 1685 km" which looked pretty daunting. Our first leg was to  Australia Zoo, the journey was uneventful apart from the ever changing speed limits. How would you like to go from 60 km to 70 to 80 to 90 to 100 and then to 110 km and not necessarily in that order and all within a few miles. I was wearing my finger out on the cruise control! I passed the most unusual load I have ever seen - a full sized diesel train engine on a huge truck and trailer unit and I had to go over 110 km to pass it. It took us about an hour to get to Australia Zoo.

Our first stop was to meet a  Burmese python. In case you didn't know snakes are warm and smooth to the touch. This one kept moving its head around until it was comfortable then lay perfectly still. This one weighed seventeen kilos and was nearly nine feet long, so Jackie had the heavy part around her shoulders and I managed its head.

If you are ever planning to visit this zoo be prepared for lots of walking. It covers 100 acres and you can see animals from Australia, Asia and Africa. Definitely the most well kept zoo we have seen with lots of animals to see.  The Africa part was amazing.

We arrived in Maroochydore (Are there some crazy names in this country or what?) very late and the only accommodation we could find resembles a large concrete prison cell but we are too tired to care. Tomorrow we head for Hervey Bay and some whale watching. Watch this space for more updates.

Writing a comedy – How I Did It

Writing a comedy – How I Did It

My publisher and co-author Christine and I were having a coffee about 18 months ago and she commented on the huge amount of paranormal books being published. We thought a short story parody about a really ridiculous were-creature might be fun.

A white fluffy miniature poodle is attacked and infected with the werewolf virus. Before the virus has fully taken hold the poodle bites young Jake Fangle and he becomes infected with a poodle were-virus. 

Jake is a home schooled, virginal mummy’s boy; not very big, not all that bright, and certainly not brave or strong. Throughout the book he is trying desperately to change his virgin status to that of experienced lover. Fortunately his dog senses give him the edge over the rest of us mortals. Life becomes more fraught for Jake when Razor the resident werewolf discovers that Jake is a werewolf and is seeking to tear the man-poodle dog to shreds.

First problem was what tense to write in. Given Jake’s character I couldn't see any way around it. The story needed to be written in first person. Something I hadn't done before.

The second problem was how to make Jake Fangle funny. He must have a distinct voice: this is his story and told entirely (almost - the werewolf does get a couple of chapters) as he saw the world. I decided Jake would have the same problem as former President Bush who had a particularly funny way of butchering the English language. I have to admit that in real life I have problems with malapropisms, just like Jake.

This story was meant to be a novella but slowly took on a life of its own. I had to analyze how someone with dog like thoughts would handle things in day to day life. As I couldn't interview my own Labrador, I tried to look at life from a dog’s perspective. Six months later the short story had become a short novel and it still wasn't close to being finished.

I have watched many stand-up comics on both TV and YouTube and they either have their short routine for comedy festivals or longer routines for one man shows. They have to be constantly funny or at least highly amusing for anything from ten minutes to over an hour with several moments of real good belly laughs. The best comics tell short stories or anecdotes with a great punch line at the end with lots of laughs on the way.

So I tried to write each chapter as a scene. The whole story line is enclosed within one lunar month. I did make the werewolf the straight man - he is evil and scary.

I have tried to work at keeping the reader smiling between laughs for most of the whole book!

My advice is to anyone writing comedy for the first time, expect hard work! Strangely I found the whole process enjoyable and compelling. Full of laughter and I had no mercy – anyone who got in our faces was parodied in the novel. Movies, politicians, professions, actors and neighbours – no one has been ignored.

As with all my fiction writing I have no idea what will happen until it does. With each new scene, a movie begins to play in my head and I write what I see. On a good day even the words are provided. Sounds like cheating doesn't it? But I don’t know how else to write.

THE WEREWOLF AND THE WO-OODLE is now a full length novel of 94000 words and is in the final editing stages. The cover is being designed and the beta readers will be turned loose on it in the next week or two.

The proof of the pudding of course will be in what the beta readers think. Nervous times ahead.

AJ BURTON

The BRIDGE - A Spartan Warrior redeems himself

The tale of a disgraced Spartan warrior hero and his redemption.
Set in ancient Greece a warrior is banished from Sparta, this short story details his journey to a new life with new values.

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Buy on Amazon Here

For the reader in you.

Why did I write The Bridge? Short stories are hard for me to write. Usually whenever I try to write a short story the damn things take on a life of their own and end up far too long.

When I write I simply start with a concept or idea. For example The Bridge started out with a question. How would an act of cowardice in another age be viewed by our modern society?

 I sat down thought of a time in history and began to write. The story, like nearly all my writing, played like a movie in my head and I wrote it down as I watched it.

Of course it has been edited by myself, my wife and Christine my publisher but essentially the story is as written. This how I write, even for full length novels. I have no plans, almost no structure, and only stop when I need to Google something.

This short story was written in an afternoon and one evening session. I have written more and would be interested to know if you would like to see this short story evolve into a full length novel.

I have only a short high school education and I am an atrocious speller at times. From telling completely made-up stories to my children at bedtimes, some which went on for many nights; I am always amazed how my writing tells itself and I just seem to be the stenographer.

Are other writers the same?

If you would like to comment regarding reading more about my Spartan warrior or about how you write, please use the comments box below.

New Cover & Title Seeking Angel - Do you like it?

• Detective Bull Protettore seeks Angel, missing; believed to be in the company of a secretive bi-sexual Dominatrix.
• Discover how she is the clue which leads Bull and his partner Tommy to the serial killer who is terrorizing NYC.
• Bull and Tommy are in a race against time to unravel the twisted ropes of the truth to exact justice and revenge.

  

'I truly enjoyed reading this book mainly because the characters weren't perfect. They all had their own little quirks and issues that made them seem so real. It actually felt like they could walk off the page and shake your hand. I would definitely recommend this book to my friends.' Amazon 5* Review

'I started to read, figuring that I'd read for about half an hour and found that I couldn't put this book down. The words come alive on the page.' Amazon 5* Review

'This was a great read! It proceeded at a good clip, had a twisty plot and an interesting cast of characters.'Amazon 5* Review

Hello everyone, above the new blurb and Front and Back covers for Seeking Angel, formerly  entitled Demon's Coven. 

Thank you so much to everyone who gave feedback on the former cover, we have listened to you and this is the result.

Thanks also to Nils Danemann, our new cover designer - who has made us this awesome new cover - featuring Angel, the Spike and the background mysterious and interesting.

Read Seeking Angel and you will enjoy a well paced read, a devious plot with lots of characters all woven together in a masterful way. Best of all your heart will be pounding and your mouth laughing at some of the antics that A J's characters get up to. 

Excellent summer reading for your e reader on the beach - and a winter awaken-er for the southern hemisphere. 

Seeking Angel Synopsis

You like to hold a real paper book in your hand - don't you?
Seeking Angel is now launched as a print book on Create Space.

 : The setting is New York City. Horrific murders are being perpetrated. A group of dominatrix and their BDSM scene are under suspicion. This thriller – mystery filled with unexpected comedy follows two broken–ass detectives. Bull is bent on avenging his lost love. Tommy is fighting his hatred of human beings. they join forces to track down a vicious killer who seemed to possess superhuman abilities.

From one 5* Amazon review-
"Seeking Angel grabs you and doesn't let go! I started to read, figuring that I'd read for about a half hour and found that I could put this book down. The words come alive on the page. The detailed information regarding the alternative BDSM lifestyle was amazing. The characters were real. There was nothing that I read that I judged to be contrived or written for shock value alone. I wanted more with each passing page. This author understands police procedure, the BDSM lifestyle and has a knack as a storyteller: something that I find lacking in many authors."